A Christmas Gift Wish

I have 6 brothers and 3 sisters and when I was young on Christmas Day I would gather with them at the top of the stairs anxiously waiting for our parents to call out and tell us we could come down and open our gifts.  It was so exciting!  We would race down the steps…

A Thought Deferred

A Thought Deferred One of my favorite poems is “A Dream Deferred” by the preeminent poet, Langston Hughes.  “A Dream Deferred” is a short but powerful poem that has stayed with me for many years and I think of it when I get reflective about my life and wonder what might have been had I…

The Hell That is Cancer: Radiation and Lidocaine

The first step of direct high dosage radiation was to have a plastic model of my tongue made.  This plastic model of my tongue would also have five tracks with long, narrow, hollow wires connected to the left side and top part.  It had to be lined up just right to hit the areas that…

The Hell That is Cancer, Part 3

Going to a cancer institute to discuss radiation being shot into your body is a surreal experience for anyone.  Radiation is the same effect of the bombs we dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and even though it’s in a controlled environment there’s nothing natural about that entering your body.  Radiation kills the cancer cells but…

The Hell That is Cancer, Part 2

“Die With Dignity” The engine was running, I ended the call, and just sat in the parking lot, staring at nothing.  Did this just happen?  What did I do?  How did I get this?  There is no way I can tell Mother.  Mother is suffering, as is our whole family, and we can’t take on…

The Hell That is Cancer

Did you say that I have cancer, or I might have cancer? October, 2005 I had a small white painful sore on the lower back left side of my tongue that I thought was a stubborn cold sore.  For many years I had dealt with painful cold sores and they always showed up when I…