Throwing in the Towel

On December 10, 2009 the cancer that visited my body for a third time was removed and along with it went my tongue.  Prior to that I still had about 20% of my tongue with a “flap” taken from my back attached to it to help me eat soft food, drink smoothies, and talk in…

Where Did It Go?

Have you ever lost something and then searched …….. and searched ……….. and searched …… and you just can’t find it?  You retrace your steps thinking there will be an “Aha” moment of awareness when you realize where it is you set your keys, your wallet, your ring, a photo, or whatever it is that…

A Christmas Gift Wish

I have 6 brothers and 3 sisters and when I was young on Christmas Day I would gather with them at the top of the stairs anxiously waiting for our parents to call out and tell us we could come down and open our gifts.  It was so exciting!  We would race down the steps…

A Thought Deferred

A Thought Deferred One of my favorite poems is “A Dream Deferred” by the preeminent poet, Langston Hughes.  “A Dream Deferred” is a short but powerful poem that has stayed with me for many years and I think of it when I get reflective about my life and wonder what might have been had I…

The Hell That is Cancer: Radiation and Lidocaine

The first step of direct high dosage radiation was to have a plastic model of my tongue made.  This plastic model of my tongue would also have five tracks with long, narrow, hollow wires connected to the left side and top part.  It had to be lined up just right to hit the areas that…

The Hell That is Cancer, Part 3

Going to a cancer institute to discuss radiation being shot into your body is a surreal experience for anyone.  Radiation is the same effect of the bombs we dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and even though it’s in a controlled environment there’s nothing natural about that entering your body.  Radiation kills the cancer cells but…

The Hell That is Cancer, Part 2

“Die With Dignity” The engine was running, I ended the call, and just sat in the parking lot, staring at nothing.  Did this just happen?  What did I do?  How did I get this?  There is no way I can tell Mother.  Mother is suffering, as is our whole family, and we can’t take on…